Most of my recent awkward moments have centred around taking the lift up and down to my flat.
Now, I live on floor x, the number omitted for anti-judgement reasons. As part of a healthy-ish lifestyle I try to take the stairs to my flat at least once a day, up or down, but after an 8.30am-5pm day I just don't feel like climbing up 2x flights of stairs. Back in Glasgow it was a rare occasion when I took a lift anywhere, everything I was ever involved in or went to seemed to be in a maximum of two floor buildings, with the exception of the Maths building at Glasgow uni where I would walk to the fifth floor, but the stairs were small and we were hardly ever up there.
It began probably at the start of this week, perhaps the beginning of this week. I would be waiting for the lift and then someone else would come and join me in my waiting.....and we wouldn't talk.....and we both silently prayed the lift would come as quickly as possible. I don't know why it's awkward, is it awkward with more than two people because I've never had that experience, yet. We both stand there in utter silence, although thankfully I'm spared that thanks to the creation of apple and their mobile music device called an Ipod, but still the awkwardness seeps through my headphones and settled on my skin and in my mind.
A total of three times this has happened to me and it seems as though after every encounter the next one is more awkward than the last. My most recent one was partly due to my own quirkiness. Thinking I was alone in front of the elevator I began mouthing the words of the song until someone opened the door and came to wait with me. He was attractive, I am shy, and so I didn't look at him but I could feel him look at me; no wonder, he probably thought I'd missed my medication at some point during the day. Into the lift we go, I press my button he presses his (I was so occupied with not looking directly at him that I didn't see which floor he pressed) and then ensued the longest ride up to my floor I have ever had.
My lengthy talk about this topic stems from the fact that I have never had to experience lift awkwardness before this. How in my not so many years of life have I managed to avoid this phenomenon? The same way as I've avoided other hurdles, going everywhere when it is extremely early and therefore very quiet.
My solution to this problem elicited some laughs from my new friends. Where the elevator is positioned you can see anyone coming to use is through the glass doors. By this point in the week I was desperate to avoid awkward encounters. Whilst waiting for the elevator I saw someone who looked as though they were coming in my block's direction. I think you all know what was coming next. When the light binged and the doors opened I dived in there as though it was water and I was on fire. As quickly as I could i pressed the floor x button and instead of leaving it I pressed....the close door button!! That's right, the person was far enough away from my block that I could get away with doing this and not be caught out; I dread to think what the level of awkwardness would have been if they had been quicker and caught the door.
What's that I hear you say? Why not take the stairs if you're that desperate to avoid elevator awkwardness? Good point, I have done that on more than a handful of occasions. Someone has been waiting for the elevator...so I take the stairs.
It all boils down to which person arrives first. There is another social convention I would like to point out. When you're waiting for the elevator and someone shows up and waits with you, it is not acceptable for you to take the stairs because they know and you know the only reason you're doing it is to avoid the awkward elevator. At a workplace it may be different, that person may be late and in a hurry, but who is in a hurry to get back to their room? If someone comes through that door wanting the lift, there is nothing you can do to escape the awkward elevator ride.
Of course there are funny, awkward and embarrassing things to do in an elevator with strangers, but with everyone I share an elevator with there is a chance I will see them again since we live in the same building, so all of them are off the bucket list.
There are worse elevator stories out there, mine are comparatively mild, but for someone who isn't used to this kind of silence it is a new experience for me, albeit an awkward one.
Any terrible elevator stories to share in the comments? Sharing pain is halving pain...or so I'm told.
